Having a Home Funeral

This information has been adapted from the Australian Home Funerals Alliance; see also Natural Death Care Centre for more information.

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Reclaiming the Death Space

Before exploring what a home funeral is and how you might do one, it is worth talking about some things that you may be able to do, that you might not be aware of.

 

Did you know that you can: 

• keep, care for and keep cold a body at home

• wash, prepare and dress a body yourself

• bury in a shroud without a coffin

• bury on private land (subject to council regulations)

• build and decorate your own coffin (must meet certain specifications so it can fit in the cremator or grave and be weight-bearing)

• have a cardboard coffin

• line a coffin with a soft absorbent liner, rather than plastic

• drive a body in your own vehicle from a home or hospital, to the funeral and crematorium or cemetery

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These things are all possible and nothing new; rather, they are the way things were traditionally done. There are state regulations that need to be followed, see here for details on NSW requirements.

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Introduction to Home Funerals

A home funeral occurs when family, friends or community are involved with conducting any aspect or ritual in caring for a deceased person’s body. A home funeral occurs in the time between a person's death and the final disposition of their body. Increasingly, our society is examining the current contemporary methods of funerals and searching for different ways that provide a more personal experience.

 

Anecdotal evidence suggests that the opportunity to participate in the dying process of one's person and having a home funeral may improve the ability to healthily grieve, increase a sense of personal agency, build social supports and community.

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When thinking about a home funeral, there are many considerations. There are the practical, emotional, relational and legal aspects. Participation in a home funeral can be as much or as little as any one person is comfortable with and prepared to do; this may include arranging or carrying out any, or all, of the following:

• spending time with the body

• washing and dressing

• shrouding

• placing into a casket, coffin or shroud bearer

• creating and holding a funeral ceremony

• transportation

• obtaining permission where required

• completing and lodging legal paperwork

• cremation or burial

• any other associated activity or ritual desired or considered important

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The duration of a home funeral may be hours or days, and each one is unique. Family, friends and/or community may choose to do everything themselves, some themselves, with or without assistance from a funeral director or celebrant.

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Three Things for Consideration

First - in many cases you can do most things yourself, however, if you have not had experience in caring for a dead body before you may want to be supported by someone who is an experienced or professional practitioner. This could be a death doula or end-of-life consultant, funeral director, friend, community member, nurse – anyone who knows how to assist and support you to safely handle and care for the dead body. Not everybody involved might want to do a home funeral – this may require careful and sensitive conversations. Remember, in accordance with the deceased's wishes, the Executor has the final say with the funeral and body disposition.

Second - a home funeral is dependent upon three things: the legislative requirements of the state or territory in which the person has died or will be disposed of, the safe handling of the body, and its condition. Cooling a body does not stop the decomposition process and some bodies will decompose faster than others for a number of reasons.

Third - the majority of what is explained here is in relation to expected death only. When a death is unexplained and unexpected, the result of a trauma, injury or cause unknown, then the Coroner will be in charge of the process, what happens to the body, what investigations are required and the final release. Not all bodies that are released from the

coroner will be able to be taken home, such as in the case of severe and advanced decomposition.

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Caring for the Body At Home

Vigils can be a special time for family and friends to honour the transition into death. They may be held before death, when the person is close to death or are held after someone has died. When holding a vigil at home after death, there are many things that can be done including:

• washing and dressing the body

• wrapping in a shroud or encoffining a person

• adorning the body with flowers

• including meaningful objects

A vigil might include personalised formal or informal rituals, sharing stories and memories, and just simply being with the person. It is a time for connection and reflection.

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One important consideration when choosing to keep a person at home is keeping the body cool. It is necessary to maintain a cool room, free of direct sunlight where possible and to maintain a body temperature of 5°C or lower. This is possible and there are various options available that make this possible - the use of a cooling bed or blanket, ice packs, dry ice, frozen water bottles and/or Techni Ice (an Australian re-usable product) in conjunction with portable air conditioners to assist in keeping room temperature cool are all options available. If this cool temperature is maintained, then a mortuary may not be required.

 

Highlands has Techni Ice that can be borrowed for this purpose. Please contact us to arrange to borrow this cooling product. We can assist you with ideas and set up for keeping your person at home.

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The general consensus in the home funeral movement suggests that depending on the climate and manner of death, three to five days is a reasonable time to keep a body at home without any outward signs of decomposition being present, although it may be less (or more) – the journey of each body is different.

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On a practical note, bodies sometimes may release liquids (for example, urine or fluid from the mouth when rolling the body on its side) and excrement after death - you may need to be prepared for this and to clean up as necessary. If you are concerned you can use an adult nappy and some essential oils. Before rigor mortis sets in, you may want to close the eyes with an eye mask and dab of Vaseline, and close the mouth by tying a scarf around the head and chin or placing a rolled up towel under the chin. 

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A Note on Moving the Body

Discuss any plan for lifting, carrying and transporting the body with all helpers before going ahead. Confirm everyone is clear, there are enough people and everyone is clear on the route you are taking.

Use a draw sheet to lift the body into the casket, supporting and containing all limbs. Once the body is in the casket, remove the sheet or tuck it under the body. If moving a coffin through a house, do a trial walk through with the empty coffin to make sure you can get it through doorways and around corners. Having people on the other side of doorways is helpful. Finally, measure the space in the vehicle you are using for transporting the casket to make sure it will fit.

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Organising a Unique Home Funeral

There is a period of time, post-death and pre-ceremony, when funeral arrangements are organised. This time is precious and can only be experienced once, so don’t rush. If in doubt, slow things down, so you can consider and create what is right for everyone. Most people assume that the funeral must happen immediately, within three to four days, but legally there is no set time. It can take a week or two or even more.
 

Some things to consider:

• type of funeral (generally with the body) or memorial (without the body)

• transportation of the body and disposal planning

• where and when the ceremony will be held (wet weather alternatives if outside)

• access to the site and seating

• parking

• who to invite and how this is done (public notices, phone calls, social media etc)

• what type of coffin or shroud

• decoration of the coffin or shroud

• creating the ceremony

• writing the eulogy and tributes

• celebrant (if used), invited speakers

• music, poetry, readings

• assembling photo boards and/or  slide shows, framed photo

• audio/video equipment (PA, microphone etc if used)

• creating and printing orders of service

• flowers, candles, paper and pens for written farewells, tissues, decorative things

• food and beverages

 

Paperwork

Regardless of how you choose to handle the funeral, you will be required to:

• register the death with the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages

• complete a Burial or Cremation Permit

• make a booking for either burial or cremation

• transport the body to the burial or cremation location

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Summary of NSW Requirements.

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Please contact us if you would like further information or additional support with your home funeral.